Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
20 July 2011 @ 12:49 pm

hi!  if i've friended you, you probably post fabulous fiction, amusing anecdotes, or something equally exciting.  if you've friended me, well, welcome to the madhouse, and try not to trip over the alliteration as you come in!

just commenting on the most recent post to introduce oneself, i've found, can be problematic.  this post is intended to help prevent these dilemmas in my own journal: introductions go here, as well as any other non sequiturs.  of course, if you don't share my need for an engraved invitation, do feel free to speak ex nihilo, ad libitum, et cetera—and to mock me for my latin & lowercase. :D

 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
15 June 2009 @ 12:40 am
hello LJ, long time no see!

since we last spoke i have visited wellsboro, pa, where my once-and-future roommate lives: among other excitingly rural activities, i got to shoot a rifle!¹ and was totally excellent at it, too. :D

other things making me happy:

my grey-on-grey striped hoodie, from h&m via goodwill ♥ the cuban food rach's boyfriend made for dinner the first night ♥ the email from boy which consisted solely of a link to FML mccoy, hee² ♥ actual white edges on my fingernails, inveterate nailbiter tho i am ♥ the four cups of black, black diner coffee i had this morning ♥ that i managed to find my wayward seahorse earring before we left, & it was right where i thought it would be ♥ people liking my voice! ♥ the prospect of alexander mccall smith's portuguese irregular verbs series to read ♥ pinto fic by [info]gigantic³ ♥ adam lambert ♥ chelsea hotel no. 2, especially josh ritter's version...

...uh, it's taken me an embarrassingly long time to string even this many words together—tho in my defense, that does include time for dinner & bumming around hype machine &al—so imma sign off. (i know i owe some of you replies to yr comments on my last entry, but i really can't muster up the willpower to catch up on LJ and gmail in the same evening. soon tho, i swear!)


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¹ not at anything, for the record!
² i mean, we send proper emails all the time, but idk, it just made me really happy that he's loosened up enough to send a dumb one! also that he's aiding & abetting my star trek obsession :)
³ less for the overall vibe, which seems a little blasé to me—people worry more abt relationships than this, i feel!—than for the pull-quotes.  i had so many of those, this footnote was gonna be longer than the paragraph of
♥s, so i picked one at random: "He has an expression in his Rolodex that makes people think he's judging them silently, that they aren't even worth two quarters and pog, but Chris has been around Zach long enough now that he knows that that's also the same face Zach gets when he's trying to figure out if he's worn his hoodie too many days in a row without looking like someone who's unsure about that kind of thing."
 
 
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
30 April 2009 @ 06:35 pm
okay so basically this is an enormous @[info]aramley, if LJ actually had such things—

so for the past six months i've been working at barnes & noble, right. which is hugely & horrendously corporate, i've come to realize, & the only thing saving me from the slough of despond is the utter, uniform darlingness of my coworkers. plus the fact that mick jagger came into our store once, no lie—that was pretty cool too. *nonchalant face*

BUT. this store's closing down—today's the last day, actually, & right now i'm on my very last break—because it's the smallest location in the city & thus can't rake in the cash fast enough for the higher-ups. for whatever reason, this is bringing all the sweethearts & intellectuals, out of the woodwork, whom i would've loved to help out while, you know, we were still in business, instead of all the twimoms and grisham fans. *face of rage* but i digress: the particular sweetheart-intellectual i'm posting about today was an older gentleman, who came up & plopped onto the counter a book by one robin lane fox!  so of course i said to him that a friend of mine went to oxford, and had RLF for a tutor!  and then he said that he had too, when he was at oxford!  and then i had to admit that this was an internet friend, because he asked what college you were at, leah, and i wasn't exactly positive.  but anyway we had a bit of a bonding-over-classics moment, and it was v. exciting & lovely.

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Tags:
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
14 April 2009 @ 06:02 pm
post-it note
 
 
emotion: amused
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
20 February 2009 @ 03:56 pm
super-quick update as my break is abt to end: what is with this weather?  i was all like, yes, i will NOT wear my long, heavy winter coat but instead this ratty old boho chic swede jacket of my dad's—which, btw, not the best plan as my dress is also brown, WHOOPS—and then it got weirdly freezing!  also i was woken up no less than FOUR SEPARATE TIMES this morning by various members of my family, wtf. *scowlyface*

but despite all this i am mysteriously in an okay mood, so whatevs: come to my arms, beamish serotonin!
 
 
emotion: hurried
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
okay so i was going to go to bed early, but i think i had a few too many chocolate-covered espresso beans for that. :)

this weekend's been all over the place—saturday i got up & went running, which felt healthy & easy & good; saw the last of one of my very favorite coworkers, which felt less good; and after work had a crazy evening helping my sister pack for her trip to the boonies new jersey the boonies.  then this morning my mom woke me up to make coffee & do dishes, after which i went back to bed; when i got up again, i was pleased to discover that my jeans slid on far more easily than they had a couple of months ago. \o/  so i topped them with this fun quasi-military bdg jacket that i got at urban outfitters on wednesday for cheap, and headed off with the mater to jacques torres for valentine's day treats, and uniqlo for pants i could actually tuck inside my boots, crazy thought!  not that we actually resolved the latter issue, because i am picky and kind of prefer the american apparel version, but it was the first time my mother & i have so much as smiled at one another in months, so i count the excursion a win nonetheless.

and oh god it is now 3:30 am, must sleep.  at least all our saturday night rummaging for ski sweaters got me a third pillow...?
 
 
emotion: awake
audition: The Perishers - Carefree | Powered by Last.fm
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
07 February 2009 @ 01:01 am
ahahaha this could not be more perfect:

Haiku2 for dolique
making for starbucks
asap with little zombie arms
zomg for a venti
@
Created by Grahame
Tags:
 
 
location: bed :)
emotion: amused
audition: vienna teng - antebellum
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
03 February 2009 @ 07:04 pm
so i'm sitting in a random little starbucks like five blocks away from my house, wearing one of the more random ensembles i've put together lately—yellow-orange t-shirt, short-ish grey skirt with pockets, super-cozy black cardigan from salvation army, peacock-blue tights & various items of hipster-esque jewelry—and simon & garfunkel's "bridge over troubled water" starts playing. i don't think i've talked about them much here, but simon & garfunkel & i have a History: they're solidly part of our family music, they were pretty much the only band i listened to in ninth grade (along with, i think, elton john; and what that combination says, i try not to think about too hard), and to this day there's a particular sort of pleasurable melancholy their music never fails to induce in me.

so basically, flist, i am feeling clean & cute & rawther content¹ (*says she in her best eloise voice*), and hopefully you all are as well! spreading the cheer since 1989, that's me. ♥


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¹ and clearly, more than a little alliterative as well! :D
 
 
emotion: contemplative
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
20 January 2009 @ 06:31 pm
okay so i can probably just quote my IM convo with [info]polutrope (now with add't'l informative links!):
hi am at starbucks with a caffe misto, which is my new favorite drink evar,—coffee, steamed milk, cheap—a wee mocha chocolate bar, & free internet because i have that starbucks gold card thing. \o/ life is good.
yay! that seriously sounds perfect
it so is omg. also [info]astolat wrote a new merlin fic¹ and i am going to see orfeo in like an hour and a half, what could be better? altho ahaha i am waiting to find out who else is going to this opera, since i'm pretty sure peter² said some teachers were coming. SUPER AWK FTW :D
yay!
unrelatedly how cool is it that itunes knows when you're in a starbucks & tells you what's playing & lets you buy it? &moderntechnologyomg;

so yes, am basically so content i could purr: plus all of the above, i am wearing my favorite boots and my new soft-as-kittens burgundy-colored dress and my silk scarf which is a cheery swath of bright oriental red. oh and earrings that i prolly ought to model for you guys, one of these days, that are basically long gold chains with rose quartz teardrops on the end & make me feel v. elegant. so yes, my sartorial splendor, let me show you it—or, you know, not, since there is no actual camwhoring in this post. but whatever, i feel pretty, &c.

okay, time to leave so i can stop by the bank (i need some cash to give peter for my ticket!) and fix my hair (i brought pins and a comb, but have yet to use either). ♥ to all!

_____
¹ which is called "the trouble with unicorns" & is just as awesome as that sounds, or possibly more so: you should all go read it RIGHT NOW.
² peter being the dude who taught my high school voice class—as opposed to fred, from whom i took (& still take!) private lessons—who is a fabulous singer and a total queen and a sweetheart, and basically my favorite person in the world.

 
 
emotion: pretty blissful
audition: john abercrombie - class trip
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
13 January 2009 @ 02:01 am
okay, quickly because although i am cheerful i can feel a tired headache coming on AT VAST LENGTH, APPARENTLY:

have made a VOCAL BREAKTHROUGH OMG, which really honest to goodness deserves the all-caps. my voice is doing the same thing across my whole range! i can ACCESS my whole range consistently & without drama! the top notes have actual vibrato &c (sort of a part b of the first point)! basically i sang through every song i have ever learned tonight, because it just felt so. good. *sighs voluptuously*

(hopefully i can now reproduce this in my lesson tomorrow, oh man.)

also & relatedly i brought my copy of nur wer die Sehnsucht kennt (first letter not capitalized because i am anti-capitalization these days, S in Sehnsucht capitalized because german trumps your anti-capitalization) to work today & will (my boss wot loves opera) and i had a convo abt different settings of the song (i am doing tchaikovsky's, there is also one by schumann & by many, many others) & also the time in will's tenor days when he sang lensky's aria and learned from it that, well, weird russian vowels are weird. *waits for [info]polutrope to pipe up at that*

also & unrelatedly i can has cheesecake-factory cheesecake left over from lunch: possibly unsanitary but oh so good.

and oh! i almost forgot! meg & i went shopping on sunday—apparently thrift stores are the answer to my sartorial woes! i bought two dresses (one a vaguely empire-waisty brown cotton that is super-comfy & also flattering, one a vaguely military khaki bamboo (!) that is ditto), one jumper, three skirts (one long woolen one that is basically my hips' reason for existence, one short & diagonally-striped, and one that is italian & also LONGER IN THE BACK LIKE A TRAIN, BE STILL MY HEART), seahorse earrings & a sweet bright red silk scarf. what can i say, since buying boots my entire wardrobe seems to have turned some invisible corner in a new & strange but exciting direction.

and then we finished up the day with first bubble tea from saint's alp (which has a location in williamsburg, who knew!) and then lamb with cilantro & hummus à la simon hopkinson—and then i worked today (in between gouts of singing), which was surprisingly painless (probably due to said gouts), and now i have two days off. \o/

so basically i am in an excellent mood—i'm in clover, i was going to say, with a link to that duet¹ from on the twentieth century, except of course i couldn't find the lyrics online (the link i ended up putting is to the recording)... and of course i ended up making the reference, in a somewhat roundabout way, despite the internet's total failure to support me. *eyes it accusingly* but yes, i am getting giddier by the moment & will sign off before i embarrass myself more than is usual.

ETA 4:07 AM: ALSO THIS OMG ♥♥♥


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¹ and if anyone understands why i can remove the underlining from most links with style="text-decoration:none", but certain ones (specifically to the apple store, that i've noticed) just will not be divested of it, i would be forever grateful for an explanation. the resultant inconsistencies of format bug the heck out of me! :(
 
 
location: bed omg
emotion: chipper
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
03 January 2009 @ 03:49 am
there is something oddly wonderful about this year in roman numerals (mmix) which makes me think of good food, and music, and the pleasure those things bring—seemingly, hopefully, an auspicious association!

first book of the year: defend and betray, by anne perry. i've been plowing through her victorian-era monk mysteries at a fairly rapid rate; rathbone the barrister is my very favorite, being (a) a barrister, (b) a really good barrister, and (c) named oliver, but he has excellent companions in hester (surnamed latterly, independent & outspoken as a result of having nursed in the crimean war) and monk (comma william, the sardonic, eponymous detective). it is all, i swear, slightly less ridiculous than my descriptions make it sound! (what i really want, i am realizing, is polyfic where the three of them lower their hackles & enter into a ménage à trois, in all senses of the phrase. maybe for yuletide someday.)

first music of the year: we are going to say alice coote, because although i bought frederica von stade's recital at the 1976 edinburgh festival on the evening of the first, at virgin with [info]polutrope, and coote's du ring an meinem finger & liebst du um schönheit only tonight, i vastly prefer the latter. thus to start the year off on a high note, as it were—oh god, i do apologize—its inaugural anthem will officially be du ring.

i do also follow [info]synecdochic's custom of listening to the counting crows' long december as the old year sighs into the new; that and fountains of wayne's valley winter song anchor my seasonal playlist, along with tchaikovsky's setting of nur wer die sehnsucht kennt, or in english none but the lonely heart, which crept in the back door as part of my vocal repertoire.

and of course now i'm contemplating such a playlist, and how i'd round it out. maybe with paul simon's american tune: i'm all right, i'm all right / i'm just weary to my bones... the hidden track from fall out boy's folie à deux could also work, at least wrt the lyrics—it doesn't matter how you feel / life is just a ferris wheel, or in more condensed & aphoristic terms, roll with the punches. not new advice, but timely.

(and parenthetically, thislike a badge of honour, by [info]snakevsladder; arthur/merlin, modern day fight club au of sorts—was *exactly* what i wanted to read tonight, or rather what i was waiting to read without knowing it. just utterly perfect for my mood somehow, although i don't mean to imply that i'm feeling particularly belligerent or off-kilter tonight; just impatient, i think, and arthur in this story is taking out my frustration for me.)

there is more i could add, but it's practically 4:30 am & i need to get some sleep tonight. briefly, i have three pairs of fun, flirty underwear from old navy, three shirts indidem, and mint tea in my shakespearean insults mug: all is right with the world.
 
 
emotion: drained
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
01 December 2008 @ 02:49 pm
met up with [info]polutrope this yesterday afternoon, which was awesome: we spent a good two hours wandering the holiday market at union square (in the freezing rain, which was less awesome). i bought a couple of sweet scarves (2 for $20!) in a beautiful deep pink & yellow-flecked green; a perfectly palm-sized, inexplicably turquoise cat; and a pair of earrings that have a cascade of pearls below a vaguely nautical hoop—pictures may follow, if i can take some that aren’t total shite.  (i have thus far, you will note, been unsuccessful.)

after that we ducked into barnes & noble to thaw, saved 50% on drinks (eggnog latte for me, peppermint hot chocolate for her) with my employee discount, and talked for a while. (…at this point in the entry, my mom came downstairs and told me to go to bed: a good ten hours later, i’ve gotten a little hazy on the details.)

[info]polutrope had to leave eventually, to get back to school—MUST BE NICE, ONLY HAVING TO GO FIFTY MILES—so after she’d gone i went back to the bookstore and picked myself out a few things: his majesty’s dragon, by naomi novik; a song for arbonne, by guy gavriel kay;¹ and the mysterious benedict society, by trenton lee stewart (totally a children’s book, not gonna lie, but i have no shame).

then i went home, ate, finished his majesty’s dragon which was more awesome even than i’d been expecting: a sort of military period piece, like something by c.s. forester or patrick o’brian, but with dragons in! and of course i love anything period, so i said “be still, my heart” and settled in to read. clearly i need the next few ASAP.

...and now here it is the next day (december 1, how crazycakes!) and i am going to sign off, go have breakfast & deal with my to-do list. pretty exciting, i know. ;)

_____
¹ whose fionavar tapestry—the summer tree, the wandering fire & the darkest road—and tigana are four of the most utterly amazing books i have ever read, an alembic of joy and sorrow and legend whose distillation is our dreaming.
 
 
emotion: happy
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
22 November 2008 @ 12:21 am

today was one of those rare non-cashwrap days that i cherish so. *blissful sigh* also i am reading robertson davies’ cornish trilogy (the rebel angels, what’s bred in the bone & the lyre of orpheus, which my edition has combined into one volume). it is entirely fabulous, & i cannot believe i didn’t discover it sooner.

and with my legs stretched out in front of me like this, it occurs to me to note that my leg hair has reached ridiculous lengths. what, it’s winter & i wear pants all the time, no one sees it! i should probably shave at some point, but i’m sort of enjoying biting my thumb at beauty a little. also i’m wearing purple fuzzy socks, which are pretty rockin’—my sartorial splendor, let me show you it.

(…not.)

in closing, let me recommend weber’s trio for flute, piano & cello in g minor, op. 63. my sister learned it last summer for the chamber music program she attended, and it’s an utterly gorgeous piece: perhaps more fascinating to me than it would be otherwise, having heard her part alone & then combined, but then music worth its salt¹ is always better on a second (or third, or thirtieth) hearing.

_____
¹not, i know, a felicitous expression in this context. do forgive me.

 
 
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
16 October 2008 @ 12:51 am
if I posted abt LJ on Facebook, my status would be "had to go back to skip=280 on her friendslist"; I don't, though, so I'm marking the occasion here. come to my arms, my beamish internet!

it has been... an ungodly amt of time since my last confession post, & I actually refuse to check how much. recent happenings include my becoming an employee of that big bookstore chain, you know the one I mean. life in retail is still interesting, in the way of novelties, if not particularly intellectual; my co-workers are the nicest, friendliest bunch imaginable, and as a wee fish who is clearly out of water, I am to a certain extent the store pet. my place of employment is also the smallest location in the city, without children's books, CDs, or a cafe, which makes it a lovely, laid-back place to be most of the time. ironically, being stuck behind the registers while on duty, I am woefully behind on New Books: I had a bit of a browse after I got off work today yesterday, and was saddened, if excited, to realize the number of appealing & untouched volumes on the shelves. I will have to go around again, with something to note them down in!

recent reading includes Hugh Walpole's Judith Paris (the second in a series of which I have not read the first book, but Walpole's "prefatory letter" says that "the story... may be followed without any knowledge of her father or curiosity as to her descendants," & I can attest to the truth of that statement). also two naval novels, an O'Brian (The Ionian Mission, which was excellent) and a Forester (Admiral Hornblower in the West Indies, which was less so: I still stand whole-heartedly by the earlier books, but a sailing book without any actual sailing in is just Not On). oh, and ALSO Maisie Dobbs, which I have been eyeing longingly ever since I spotted it this summer, at the Yellow Umbrella in Chatham: post-war English detection, by an appealing, intelligent heroine?  I am passing it around to everyone I can think of; my father has it first, then probably my sister (on grounds of proximity), then it shall be yours, [info]polutrope!  and you do want it, I promise.

but enough of this for now: bedward I hie myself.  (sleep, why dost thou leave me?  &c, &c.)

 
 
emotion: tired but content
audition: times that walk from you like some passing afternoon
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
17 May 2008 @ 03:43 pm
Okay, so clearly I know that capitalization is cliche and grammar is going that way too, but can we just get a few things straight?

+++

AMOUNT of cereal, NUMBER of bowls of cereal: if it comes in separate, countable units, use number. Otherwise, yes, fine, you can use amount.

Along the same lines, my friend Abby drinks LESS coffee than I do, but I have FEWER cats than she does, or NOT AS MANY if I want to avoid the issue. But again, if it's countable—you may not actually be able to find all your cats at one time, but in theory, at least, you can count them!—use fewer.

+++

Also, if I'm resting, I'm going to LIE down, not lay: if my nap already happened, I either LAY down or HAVE LAIN down. Jane laid down is wrong; I just saw it in an otherwise lovely story, which is actually my reason for compiling this post.

If I'm fibbing, on the other hand, it's LIE => LIED => HAVE LIED, and if I'm putting something down, I can LAY it down. That, in the past, is correctly conjugated LAID, and in present perfect HAVE LAID.

+++

There are infinitely many of these, so I'll just leave you with one that's near and dear to my heart. (I like to translate fero as "bear" rather than "carry," so I really know how to conjugate bear!)

If you have sex, you're probably going to BARE yourself to the other person involved. This is fairly standard; if you've already done it, you BARED yourself or—I'm not-so-secretly fond of present perfect, all right?—HAVE BARED yourself.

If you then get pregnant, and don't abort, you'll BEAR a child, which will then be BORN, and if you need to take it somewhere, you'll also—unless you get a stroller—BEAR it; you'll also probably have to BEAR some less-than-charming behavior, like crying. If you've already been pregnant, or put up with annoyances, or carried anything, you BORE it, or—careful here!—HAVE BORNE it.

+++

Okay, enough! But, uh, I hope that was helpful, and if you have any grammatical questions that aren't answered in here—which is entirely possible, as I limited myself to three of my main gripes—feel free to ask them, either here or in a later post, though I hate to jinx myself by mentioning one!
 
 
location: ABP
emotion: whimsical
audition: my cherie amour (stevie wonder)
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
23 April 2008 @ 01:38 pm
am in the dining hall: the coffee leaves something to be desired, but ice, milk & a little splenda have done wonders, although it still pales besides the starbucks version from this morning.

cantabrigian weather continues to be bizarrely, ridiculously glorious; having gotten used to rowing in the freezing cold & all varieties of precipitation, i'm unjustifiably overheated these days (wearing nothing but shorts & a tank top, mind you), but i suppose i can't complain.

i had a test in linguistics this morning -- abby, you've already heard this story -- during which i was startled to hear the familiar strains of edith piaf's "hymne à l'amour" drifting through the wall!  it was remarkably cheering, if a bit distracting, and i think i did reasonably well (*knocks on wood*).

as i'm meant to be meeting R behind widener at this very moment, but am at least twenty minutes away from doing so, i will sign off. 

&springtime;
 
 
location: annenberg
emotion: cheerful
audition: e me fous du monde entier / tant que l'amour inondera mes matins
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
22 April 2008 @ 04:39 pm
ugh it is so hot, dudes.  wtf.

on the bright side, lab today for my dinosaurs class consisted of going to the natural history museum.  they had stuffed things -- which is Frowned Upon nowadays, i know, but was nevertheless super-fun -- including a little deer with fangs!  yeah, that's right, i said FANGS. :D

and then i went to the gift shop and contemplated buying you a small wooden animal, liss, but they were ten bucks and that is two whole coffees, maybe even three!  also they had windup toys, and earrings, and... really the problem was that i couldn't decide, so i didn't get anything.  i need to meditate further!

i am going to nap some, i think, and then transfer this operation to starbucks; i have a test tomorrow, a backlog of response papers, and an 8-pager due next week, and they have an iced venti sweetened cafe con leche with my name on it.  (ahaha my summer drink order is way too long, but whatcha gonna do?)

i meant to go running, but i don't think that's in the cards for this afternoon; considering that we did crazy-exhausting race pieces this morning against the lightweights, though, i don't actually feel that bad about it.

*turns pillow to the cool side*
 
 
emotion: content
audition: rhapsodie by [info]circulation
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
ugh so this is the third of three lovely days here in cambridge, and i am so totally in summer mode i can't even tell you.  i am making for starbucks asap -- with little zombie arms, zomg! -- for a venti iced sweetened cafe con leche, which takes a ridiculously long time both to type and to say but warms -- or maybe cools, haha -- the cockles of my caffeine-addict's heart.

we had two races yesterday, the first in a four, which we lost due to a series of unfortunate events (tm), and the second in an eight, which we lost due to the enormous gap between the top four rowers in our boat and the bottom four.  not coincidentally, lassitude and vague headache are the name of the game today, although they are not doing much to stop my relentless cheerfulness.

i'm going to go get my iced coffee and donut holes, i think, and do some work. <3 to you all! 
 
 
audition: the lucksmiths <3
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
29 March 2008 @ 01:42 pm
in the last twelve hours i have eaten an entire bag of kettlecorn and almost an entire box of pop'ems; i wrote "pox of pop'ems" to begin with, which seemed appropriate. dining halls, reopen! for i am lost without you. in my defense, i have had practice twice a day all week—three times on monday and wednesday—but i'm not sure that cancels out the spiritual sloth, although it may the physical.

i have also been reading poems like a woman possessed, or perhaps like a poet, and sang more yesterday than i have in months. artistic thirst must eventually be slaked, i am realizing; it would perhaps be healthier to incorporate art into my life in some consistent fashion, rather than binging thus. but i am rather enjoying the binge.

i'm meant to be catching up on work—or really, i suppose, to have caught up already—but after a week of effort without result, i'm feeling particularly impotent, and cry with Hopkins in words that fit the season and my mood:
See, banks and brakes
Now leavèd how thick! lacèd they are again
With fretty chervil, look, and fresh wind shakes
Them; birds build—but not I build; no, but strain,
Time's eunuch, and not breed one work that wakes.
Mine, O thou lord of life, send my roots rain.
not that cambridge didn't see enough rain yesterday to last me, at least, a while—poetry colliding with reality as it often does, and coming away bruised. but bruising, at least, is a sign of life, and i (ironically) have not had much intellectual life this year, so i embrace the bruises. by which i mean that i have pasted my door with poem fragments—returning roommates will be startled, i am sure!—and written a few of my own:

failing my obligations, endlessly,
a surrendering with the sweetness
of rotting things, roiling in the belly,
the illness building upon illness then
to the square construction of a poem
in my spare hours, carved from sleep
as a gourd is hollowed, the wet seeds
scooped and flung aside, and it is I
who push the spoon inevitably into
my own soft stomach where its lead round
nestles, negligently cradling my breath

but despite the drama, i am truly enjoying the springtime—"the only pretty ring time"—and hope that you all are as well.
 
 
location: my room
emotion: thoughtful
audition: broken city / buries completely / the glory of the sound
 
 
Ruby don't take your love to the vibrators
13 March 2008 @ 11:55 pm
roommate’s brother j. here, to stay for the next three days, i believe.  this slightly awkward, as always when people one tends to monopolize are otherwise occupied, and made more so by brother’s attractiveness.  why, oh why, do i have such a thing for boys who are both skinnier and more feminine than me?  i do not mean, mind you, to suggest that i have any significant hang-ups about my body, since crew is probably the best fitness plan ever invented.  just that, factually, i am broad-shouldered, heavily muscled, and small-breasted, and j. is svelte, long-lashed, etc.  if i ever marry someone of the type i find physically attractive, our wedding photos will be the cause of much (deserved) hilarity.

am in abp, attempting to do work.  sadly, i forgot to use the bathroom before i left the dorm, over an hour ago, and i needed to rather badly even at that point.  thus i have been sitting here wiggling sadly to myself: i don’t particularly want to leave my laptop unattended, and to call the bathroom here sketchy would be a gross understatement.  in other woes, i am losing power rapidly (oh, apple batteries, why are you so quick to lose capacity? though this may be my own fault, for leaving the comp plugged in 24/7.) and the table which has access to abp’s sole outlet is currently (ha) occupied by a pair of argumentative old men.

i should really either do some work or head back to the dorm to sleep, so i can get up; lj has no place in either of these plans.  because of this, and the not insignificant fact that i have run out of things to say, i will sign off.

happy friday!

+++

eta: work accomplished.

\o/
 
 
location: abp
emotion: accomplished
audition: qui non fleret / christi matrem si videret